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Not to choose was my choice. Talkin about the perplex mood of mine yesterday... i guess it's better not to choose.

So what's up with me? After 3 months, i cried again. Haha! Not because i'm sad or something. That one news and one kiss brought me into tears. It all began in "josh, are you busy?? uhm... i got something important to tell you."

So he fetched me and we went out. We went to Intramuros. (aw! what a beautiful place!) While pampering our eyes with the beautiful historical landmarks there, i suddenly asked him, "so what is it that you're gonna tell me?". We stopped walking. He stared at me... His stare made me puzzled. Then he said... "i'l be ordained on September." I was shocked when i heard what he said. Suddenlt i became dumb. I was speechless. I felt that the world suddenly stopped. Then i felt his hands on my checks. Only then i realized that tears were falling from my eyes. As he stared at me, his tears began to roll down his cheeks...

I dunno what happened next. My conscioussness got back when i felt his arms around me and his lips kissing me. My God! That thing should not, or MUSTR NOT happen. He is a seminarian and he's about to be ordained.

I don't understand why we acted that way---why he kissed me... It was wrong... very wrong. Does it mean that we still have feelings for each other? Do we still love each other? Does he still love me? God!

All i know is, what happened yesterday was wrong. Still searching for the answers why it happened... Now what? I dunno... All i know is we were both happy taht time...

Forgive us, Lord!